Yes I Can?!

 

 

JKR

From probably one of my biggest inspirations…JK Rowling, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

I don’t want your pity…I swear I don’t! But what I do want, is to let you know why I am the way I am. Does that make sense?

Y’all know that I have PCOS. According to some sites I have looked up, it says that mood swings are normal. Which can explain why some weeks I feel like a complete failure, and/or lost in this world. Or why sometimes I could feel lonely.

On my good days, I realize that I am not lonely at all. I have my parents, my sister, and my best friend. Overall, I have family. My question to myself is…Why? I don’t know why I feel so lonely…and yet I do. Is it because of PCOS? Am I being dramatic? But I’m not because I am feeling all of these emotions. I could possibly agree that it might be because of hormones which brings me back to PCOS.

One of the main reasons I have this–to my understanding–, is because of hormones and being overweight. I repeat TO MY UNDERSTANDING!!!! I am not a doctor.

Therefore, my mother always encouraged me to lose weight. I never did lose enough of weight. Although I did try, I could have tried harder. Whatever! This year, my mother suggested Alejandro Chaban’s diet– Yes, I Can!–so many years of saying “NO” to do something called dieting because I was afraid that this will classify me as fat. This year I said, “I’ll try.”

Although I broke this diet in the first week, I gave more of an effort this current week. I am hoping that if I lose weight and my period goes back to normal…that maybe I will even start feeling healthier mentally. I need to get out of this dark hell that I am in. With school coming up, I can go two ways… go deeper into this hell or actually start feeling better. Shoot, I may just stay the same, which I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. But I know I’ll be fine, because I got amazing and sometimes annoying people (because they want the best for me…Thank you, mama).

So, Yes I Can!

 

Advertisements

Bye Bye Teen Years

I’m officially 19!!! It’s crazy! My last official years of being a teen and then it is straight into my twenties.

Every single movie I have watched depicts your teens and twenties like the best part of your life. Which I find incredibly funny because so far my teens have been horrible. They were full of insecurities and days that I had to learn how to love myself. In all honesty, I’m still working on it.

BUT not everything was awful. My teens had brought some of the most special days: Quince, Prom, Graduation of 2016, and probably more. I have grown closer to the few friends I have and my sister.

While I am absolutely terrified of growing older, I also accept it. I accept that it might be harder and that it won’t come easy. There will be days that I think I am not going to make it, and give up. I accept this life I was given, and I will try with all my might to achieve the things a teen is suppose to do. I don’t keep any promises. I’ll have fun and live life as it is. Because my teen years taught me to just live and have no worries.

lifetitle

P.S Pictures of today…