October Craze

A lot has happened this past month…so many confessions.

Chavela
To those who aren’t Hispanic… this was a comedy show and it was a lady who was always confessing about something, and always found a way to make it sound dirty and nasty! (Not always that dirty)

A time to talk and release stress and tears! A time to just look at how fast life is passing by!Or just plain simply a time to get busy. Is that why October is called the “October Craze”, or did I just make that up? If I did, it still sounds good.

I am almost finished with my first semester of school, and that is quite surprising. Tell me I am getting ahead of myself, but I seriously believe that I can graduate a year early. Not only that but today I set an appointment to talk to someone who can help me build a decent resume, and hopefully this summer, I might have an internship. Oh! I got a job too!

This Halloween I was Batgirl! It was a pretty cute costume!

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I did my nails, and my tutu. I still have both, and at the moment I want to destroy both of them.

Then Sunday came and my cousins wanted to get their Halloween spirit on and go to a Haunted House…so like always I didn’t go. But I took my younger cousin out to see Madea Two: Boo. We had a good time! It was a day for a fatty like myself to enjoy, especially in Hollywood Boulevard! Plus in a way, we were getting our Halloween on. I love hanging out with her…it makes me feel like an older sister. I enjoy it! It takes me on memory lane from back on my adventures with my sister. Not that we don’t have them right now.

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– A little snippet of the movie.

Well from this week and now, school and work are the things keeping me busy in life. In three weeks from now I have finals. Well technically four, but I’m not counting Thanksgiving week. Time to diet because Thanksgiving is coming and I’m going to gain so much weight! Till the next time!

 

 

 

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Yes I Can?!

 

 

JKR

From probably one of my biggest inspirations…JK Rowling, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

I don’t want your pity…I swear I don’t! But what I do want, is to let you know why I am the way I am. Does that make sense?

Y’all know that I have PCOS. According to some sites I have looked up, it says that mood swings are normal. Which can explain why some weeks I feel like a complete failure, and/or lost in this world. Or why sometimes I could feel lonely.

On my good days, I realize that I am not lonely at all. I have my parents, my sister, and my best friend. Overall, I have family. My question to myself is…Why? I don’t know why I feel so lonely…and yet I do. Is it because of PCOS? Am I being dramatic? But I’m not because I am feeling all of these emotions. I could possibly agree that it might be because of hormones which brings me back to PCOS.

One of the main reasons I have this–to my understanding–, is because of hormones and being overweight. I repeat TO MY UNDERSTANDING!!!! I am not a doctor.

Therefore, my mother always encouraged me to lose weight. I never did lose enough of weight. Although I did try, I could have tried harder. Whatever! This year, my mother suggested Alejandro Chaban’s diet– Yes, I Can!–so many years of saying “NO” to do something called dieting because I was afraid that this will classify me as fat. This year I said, “I’ll try.”

Although I broke this diet in the first week, I gave more of an effort this current week. I am hoping that if I lose weight and my period goes back to normal…that maybe I will even start feeling healthier mentally. I need to get out of this dark hell that I am in. With school coming up, I can go two ways… go deeper into this hell or actually start feeling better. Shoot, I may just stay the same, which I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. But I know I’ll be fine, because I got amazing and sometimes annoying people (because they want the best for me…Thank you, mama).

So, Yes I Can!

 

Bye Bye Teen Years

I’m officially 19!!! It’s crazy! My last official years of being a teen and then it is straight into my twenties.

Every single movie I have watched depicts your teens and twenties like the best part of your life. Which I find incredibly funny because so far my teens have been horrible. They were full of insecurities and days that I had to learn how to love myself. In all honesty, I’m still working on it.

BUT not everything was awful. My teens had brought some of the most special days: Quince, Prom, Graduation of 2016, and probably more. I have grown closer to the few friends I have and my sister.

While I am absolutely terrified of growing older, I also accept it. I accept that it might be harder and that it won’t come easy. There will be days that I think I am not going to make it, and give up. I accept this life I was given, and I will try with all my might to achieve the things a teen is suppose to do. I don’t keep any promises. I’ll have fun and live life as it is. Because my teen years taught me to just live and have no worries.

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P.S Pictures of today…